so many questions...

so how do i know? how do i know what is going on outside of my world? how do i know the goings-on “behind the scenes?” will i ever know? will this ever have a conclusion? i often ask these questions about numerous topics, especially ones that i have deemed to be out of my hands. when we give something to God, how do we know what He is doing with it? people say to pray about it and we’ll be told. others say to just have faith that it will end up how it is supposed to and that because you have given it to God then He will take care of you. well, what happens when you’re still confused? when you still wonder day after day what is going on? when you give something up, not for spite or out of anger or hate, but for God, does it always end up happy? it seems that no matter what i do, i can’t forget. is that bad? should i by now? i don’t need pictures, chats, or anything else specific. i remember in songs, in seeing places i’ve been, thinking of places i’ve been, that i will be at, hearing something, saying something, hugging someone, just sitting there and the thoughts pop into my head. am i failing? is this happening because i’m weak? is it all in vein? i don’t even know what is going on outside of me. is that mutual? should it matter? it does. i don’t know why, it just does. i do wonder about it. i wonder about it everyday. what’s going on with it, what will happen in the days to come, how will it end up, am i the only one who feels this way, do you think about it too?…maybe i’ll never know.