don't settle for settling.

why do we settle so much? as people, we often know in our hearts what is best for us, even if it may not be what we want in our minds or flesh. i think that we do this for a few reasons.

the first reason is fear. a lot of times we will take what we can get because we are afraid that there won’t or can’t be anything better that would come along, so even if we know that something is not ideal for us if we want to walk alongside God, we settle. take, for example, someone you like. if you’re married…just think back to before it. first, you meet someone. generally speaking, your first impression of someone is physical attraction. so we’ll go with that for now… so you meet this person and you’re very attracted to them physically. as you hang out with them and get to know them you realize that they are fun to be around – he/she is nice, outgoing, funny, smart, goes to church and loves God and does all the things on your little checklist for traits a person should possess to attract you emotionally. then as you keep hanging out and talking, you slowly start to realize that maybe you were wrong… sure he/she is still very good-looking and fun to hang out with, but you find yourself feeling like trying to pursue anything is more like a job. you start finding this person to be difficult or immature or maybe they just play too many games (although i consider that under the immature part, to a degree….). i know for me at least, a big part of me would want to put up with all that crap and keep after it. i know it because i’ve done it more than once. but i doubt i’m the only one. you see we are settling for things that we bring into our lives out of fear that we can’t get anything better…that God won’t give us anything better or maybe that He won’t give us another chance at all. but what has God ever done to show us that He won’t provide?

and that brings me to the next and most important point i think.

trust.

as a rule, we don’t trust God. maybe it’s because we have been hurt by people and been betrayed in the past. we somehow justify in our heads that if we can’t trust someone we can touch, see, smell and someone we have tangible proof of their existence, then how can we trust a God who is beyond our understanding and comprehension?

it makes me feel stupid to say it because i am as guilty of this as anyone, but we have no reason to not trust God because He has never given us a reason not to. we make reasons up like spoiled children out of bitterness, selfishness and greed because we don’t get something we want or something we somehow think we deserve. we don’t deserve anything. everything we have in our lives is a gift from God. whether it’s things we don’t think about like waking up each day in a warm place that we live in or big things like giving us Jesus to die on our behalf, God gives us immeasurable and countless things each and every day that we take for granted.

there’s no reason to not have faith in God or not to trust that He will provide for us. it may not be in our timing and the large majority of the time it won’t be because we don’t see everything that factors in to the decisions and situations God allows and provides. we need to trust God and his plans and timing and know that He only has our best interests and happiness in mind.

the other day i was watching a nooma video called shells. it go toward the end and rob bell told a story that really hit me hard…

he talked about going to the beach one time with his family and there were all these shells everywhere. some of them were good shells and looked cool, but some were just fragments and pieces of broken shells. so they went around collecting them and all of the sudden he looked out into the water and saw a big, perfect starfish just floating there. his little son went to get it, but as he got out a little bit into the water he turned around and came back. they all yelled and encouraged him to go get it so he turned around and ran back out, a little farther this time, but then turned around and came back again. finally after more encouragement he ran all the way out to the starfish, but turned around and came back without it. finally rob asked his son why he didn’t get the starfish…what was holding him back from getting the best? his son said, “because my hands are filled with shells.”

friends, we need to drop our shells…the things that we settle for…broken fragments. we need to drop dependencies on people, alcohol, drugs, sex, money…we need to stop settling for what the world gives us and what we grasp out of fear. we need to empty our hands so we can grab hold of the best that God has for us. we need to empty our hands so we can grab hold of Him.

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; those who seek find; and to those who knock, the door will be opened. Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” – Matthew 7:7-11

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” – Matthew 6:25-33

- david

consider it pure.....joy......?

i often wonder about joy. i wonder about what james was saying when he said "consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance."

pure joy? i just don't know how i feel about that. i think what it's saying is that we should consider ourselves lucky whenever something crappy happens because there's a chance that if you have the strongest will ever and have no problems totally relying on God and never struggle with faith that everything is for the good, then you will come out of every situation you face fulfilled and happy. (sarcasm, much?)

i don't know. i guess you can say i'm bitter about this whole concept. i just don't see it. i'm not saying james was wrong in writing this or that God didn't breath those very words into him, i just don't know how we are supposed to find comfort in those words. maybe if it were to say, "whenever God puts you in a situation to show your faith in Him and come out on top, you should be happy." but that's the issue. it isn't God putting us in these situations. it seems like it's so many things other than Him, actually. sure, He allows it. that much i get. but beyond that...? i have put myself in countless situations and come out on the wrong end. i have put myself in a position to fail or to stumble or fall short more times than i can and wasted precious time and will. so where to i find joy in that?

then there are other factors. take, for example, natural disasters. i don't think that God send hurricanes or earthquakes or tsunamis to punish the world. i think it's just another result of sin and the fall of man since the beginning. you can add anything here...sicknesses like cancer and aids and malaria -- what about a drunk driver crossing the yellow line and killing a family? or a crazy guy who for whatever sick reason kills someone's wife or husband...son or daughter... when we face situations like that, where do we find joy? how do we see the hand of God acting in those situations?

i don't have any doubts that God exists. i don't think i have ever questioned that. i also don't doubt that God is always with us...always watching. the thing i don't know is how do we grab ahold of something intangible...how do we grasp something and put our faith in something that we can't smell or touch or breathe. i preached on this last night even...how we can always find comfort no matter what knowing that we are never alone. it's a lot harder to put those things to practice when something bad happens, though. it's just one of those things i've never understood.

i guess we have to find the joy, ourseleves. i don't think it just presents itself to us. maybe it does, but i don't think so. maybe we can find joy in knowing that God knows what's best for us. it's His love that allows us to make mistakes; His love that allows us to hurt because He loves us so much He wants us to experience everything we can. i guess it's just a love i can't understand and won't.

maybe i should just keep trying to accept it.

- david

Crossroads.

i'm warning you now that i don't think any of these thoughts go together and make sense.

i guess it's time i wrote something since i haven't in over a year. this is one of those desperation attempts...one of those moments in one's life where it feels like everything around you is a fast-moving tornado and all you want to do is grab hold of one thing and secure it, but right when you stretch out your arm you fall. or it just keep getting further and further away. and it feels like your arm keep getting shorter...and finally you can't hold your arm out any longer and you just crumble.

i sat in a session one time at a conference and had someone sum up people's tendencies and mistake fairly well...

the first thing we as humans do is to reach a decision point where we can do one thing or the other. then we make a decision. sadly, more time than not, we decide with our own wants and we don't think things through. call it human nature...call it the fall of man and the "curse" that we have on us because we are created in sin but it's our own decisions that affect our future. others can influence those and give us ideas but we are always the final say.so then we make the decision...for the sake of this we'll say the wrong decision. and now what? now there is another option that presents itself...stop what you're doing and try to right the situation or keep going. sometimes we keep going in fear and sometimes out of excitement. i've heard that some people get adrenaline rushes and "highs" from getting away with something. i'm the opposite, i think. i don't like to push the limits, even though sometimes i screw up as well and usually when i do i screw up big. but anyway, so at some point in this road there there will be a consequence. we can bring that about by heading off the situation or we can have it come crashing on us because we finally get caught. either awy, it all comes out in the end.

this happens with any number of situation. drugs, alcohol, pornography, sex, lying...anything desire of the flesh that we pursue and lend ourselves to. we think we can beat the system then we think that we live in this fairytale land where there are no consequences. our sinful natures and the active presence of evil on earth doesn't justify anything or give us an excuse because we know better. but we still fall so short so often.

why?

and more than that...why is there grace? why has God, such a powerful and perfect being given us everything He can over and over again when everything we do is against it. there's a song by shane and shane called "Your grace is sufficient." it's really short but very powerful when you read the words. it says...

"Your grace is sufficient for me
Your strength is made perfect
When I am weak
And all that I cling to
I lay at Your feet
Your grace is sufficient for me."

so do we lay it at His feet? or do we spit on them as we walk by and live our lives as we choose out of selfishness and pride. grace is my favorite word ever but mainly because i don't understand it. the concept of it throws me in loops and i will never get a grasp on it's power and perfection in my lifetime. i'm a very logical person...i don't do well with things i can't grasp. so how i do or people like me accept grace? how do we, as flawed people, accept a perfect love and forgiveness. is it our place to even choose to accept it? or is it just there...

we come to these points in our lives so many times...call them crossroads, detours...whatever metaphor you want to use but we arrive at situations and times where we as people break. our foundations that we have built with our own strength and desires crumble beneath us and we feel broken. we finally acknowledge that we have no idea what we are doing and start to panic looking for an immediate answer. looking for something that will just make it all better. looking for something or someone to just pick us up and hold our minds and hearts telling them that everything is going to be okay and that they can kiss it and make it all better. it's not that easy. or is it? maybe there is no prolonged road that we think we have to walk down to find the greater meaning behind things. maybe we try to search so hard and rely so much on patience and time that we forget what we were waiting for. or maybe we should sit by and wait but we just keep trying to take the reigns and we try to control everything over and over and dig ourselves deeper. i don't know. i don't know much of anything but i do know that those are critical times in our lives. i've learned that it's only when i am fully broken that God can finally pick me up and begin to put me together and make me what He wants me to be. or maybe that's just the only time i'll allow Him to get close to me and touch me. i live in such fear of God's will yet i complain about wanting to know it. i get frustrated with God's timing but when He finally shows me i get angry that He answered. it's never enough. how do we approach absolute submission and brokenness. how do we maintain the fragile state of mind that tells us we constantly need God and His guidance? how do we lay ourselves down and just ask God to lead us not caring where we go? that's where we should all strive to be, i guess. a state of total communion and companionship with God. not us just being puppets in His world, but us walking freely with Him and choosing to be with Him out of love and appreciation instead of self-pity and misery. or maybe it doesn't matter how we get to that place as long as we do.

God craves us. deep down, we crave God. we crave a state of ecstasy and salvation and peace with a God that we owe everything to. maybe it's right in front of us and we just need to accept it. maybe acceptance is just the beginning. maybe it's the end-point. i think we just need to crave the true God, regardless of what that means for our own desires and visions. if we crave an idea of God that we have created or crave control and put limitation on God and on what we allow Him to do in our lives, we've accomplished nothing but lost time.

i want to stop losing time.

here's a shawn mcdonald song that i love.

"I lay myself at Your feet
Asking You won't You meet
Won't You meet me
I cannot do it on my own
I cannot do it all alone
Here I am, oh, tonight
With my arms open wide
Won't You come inside
Won't You come inside, God
Come and fill this heart of mine
I'm in need of You
Of Your touch, of Your life, of Your love
I need You
I need You"

that's where i want to be.

so -- here i am.

meet me.